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Idiot

by brock von

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1.
Us or Them 03:01
us or them i don’t know what I was thinking, hearts erupt and now I’m sinking, I gotta get on, get on get on with it when am I wrong I’m wrong whats wrong with it can I move on move on no I think I’ve gotta suffer from the bottom of the ocean floor I will touch the sky I’m made to be manic, probably won’t see geriatric cutting it close with the smokes, like I’m s’posed to know how it goes Brocky comes brocky goes, brocky ghosts for the most partly toasted off the dro, puking jack in the back, maybe disappoint my dad throw a show for a hoe, but I didn’t couldn’t fill a row its easy with a blizzy, forget the words I’m feeling dizzy, copious coughing is too easy Its breezy when I’m tank but its over when I’m sober Its over when she’s home she don’t even wanna phone i don’t know what I was thinking, hearts erupt and now I’m sinking, I gotta get on, get on get on with it when am I wrong I’m wrong whats wrong with it can I move on move on no I think I’ve gotta suffer at the bottom of the bottle I’m stuck with no way out I’mma stick it the the man through the only way I can through my rhymes of such discourse, in my favor in my court discombobulated mainly sedated or populated see you later not hating I just wanted to say it, i try not to aim it or spray it, I don’t even play it just rhyme it in time to a beat then I split within a minute for I gotta so some sinning shit I’m gonna share some skin with a honey, but she think I’m made of money what the fuck, wheres the focus, I don’t even know my fight, Im just shifting in the night, can’t do one more restless night
2.
She said she wanted to see, the private side of me I bout died(died) but didn’t cry (cry) she said she wanted to see, what bothers me she said she wanted to see, wants makes me tick, didn’t mean to sound like a dick I’m bout died (died) but didn’t cry(cry_ fire breath, marathon, whatever sounds cool cut it up in class actin like a damn fool what a time to get carded, when a party starting post up in the garden cuz Im growing so slow sort of stagnant in this row looking back to the days, when it wasn’t always plays they couldn’t put me in a place, sounding off, disgrace when I hit rewind, sifting through pastimes jerkins been a-working been awakened at my stationed catacombs for my sperms, you heard it first I’m just the worst, its not a curse, headfirst to the hearse If I say it hurt worse, than a dance with her, am I really being honest you could hook me up with phonics to help me find the words you’re dope don’t deter you’re just not her she said she said she said she wanted to see, the private side of me(2) she said she said mulligan Im monotone, chronically stoned sutured up a flow, alone at home hardly hoping for a hoe, I’m not looking for some dome I divert to sacred tomes that add a bit to my adamant fallacy, could not forsee, that Id fall for thee my pride and creed, couldn’t conquer this Im such a prick, but Ill be damned If I let it bother me, no one higher can’t you see sorta sold on lazity, I got cheers on dvd really don’t matter to me lets marry the moment the static fervor in the air I did nothing but I stared, sitting stagnant in my chair Hope to cope with growing old, know I’ll take that on alone Its been years since we spoke don’t worry I’m still broke, I still smoke, rather choke me with a rope than say hi, what’d I hope Im just so wishy washy, they can’t touch me comatose with that last dose Apropos Im POS so SOB NO LOL Hit me back when I can tell
3.
I can’t see a future of success I believe in manic dramatics You see me, choking down the cigarettes, while I heave then just digress as a heathen I reset, keeling over and depressed I believe I deserve a second chance, not gonna try that dance that hang up when its ringing dance, its only cuz the circumstance sequential whats the meaning whats the pattern I can’t read it coughing kush when I meet her, thats a red flag bleeding already count the curses that I lets slip, she’s ready for that pink slip No way I’ll see her strip No way, no how, you’ll never see the day No way, no how, you’ll never see the day I can’t see a future where we make it detrimental to my health won’t fake it no snake shit conclusion the contusion calls me bryan when I’m bryce, when I roll up wheres the dice whats the probability that this will end all nice, where I get my cake and eat it eat it sadness defeated or I just retreated for fucks sake classic bryce, you can’t get hurt if you don’t try I believe in lowered expectations, with my education, no vacation working for dimes I wank on their time I trip on the clock, I fold up my smock, have a smoke in the back I fall off the track, continuity breaths life into me I don’t know, who I am anymore x3 from a certain point of view I can see why you’d choose to not dedicate some time, to peruse on my flaws just thought I’d get some balls shoot a shot not at a wall or in my hand Its just that I cannot stand being the whole band for a minute I’m the man, till she said I’m not the guy Holy shit I’d rather die
4.
put it back in the pack, I can’t handle a high with all thats on my mind you don’t think to hit me back got me bored, trying crack smorgasbord of the sad sitting sullen on my own, on the porch of my home smoking stoges in the hopes that my brain aint broke railroad tropes, Imma hop up in a car hope that car takes me far before the hurting comes in waves I just know I wont be saved Its mad to make a motive, based on judgement from my past I know I’ll miss class I just need to see that ass and then so fast we aint talking by 2 it had to happen soon, going ghost in the moon now its empty in my room the boredom was barely the problem the trauma concocted some drama, so sus but expected I knew still collected some feelings selected at random, but damn, I cannot stand not knowing how you feel I don’t know if this is real the monarch of madness, epitome of sad its too soon to say rad, you were ready to rid this rap from your mind, who do I even kid you never had this jig Alas I rap, digging up my own ass at the risk of sounding crass never took a test and passed is it wack that I’m back at your door begging for more forlorn furloughs ignore me baby show me I aint shit, tell me to eat a dick rather that than silence, lemme see some violence used to love the way you looked me in my eyes I was feeling down but can’t believe I tried you left me broken hearted, can’t leave with what we started please don’t let me go, please don’t let me pull up to the place where I go to save face face the sun with what I’ve done load a bullet in a gun, this was fun for a moment for a minute its torture then you text to my horror was the tour not enough do you need a bit of terror i ts been deuce for the hour, lemme play or lemme show her how to spin it in her favor, how to add a bit of flavor, adamant about her savior, in a minute i could save her, from a hurt I signed off on didn’t wanna hurt her but I knew I couldn’t earn her, wanna walk with her, don’t wanna be disturbed I wanna feed my fears with a couple of beers micro dose from my head to my toes, I’ll take shots, make it dos coming close to losing hope comatose from the dro feeling fine apropos, for once Im rolling in the dough its been you from the start its been you from woke up and Im late for work again woke up and I missed your love again can’t try if you’re never ever around can’t try if you’re never ever around
5.
WTFOK 03:20
I set myself aflame so she can never say that I’m dim every other word I spit, are you sure that that was it feeling groovy looking slick I pack it all away to blaze cuz Im feeling so low today destruction is creation thats why I tear myself down If i lived my life in lines you would never hear my sounds Im a dude that can do will do what you won’t do for a tune call it quits I’m losing sleep, don’t give a shit thats for the weak it’ll be a week till my next paycheck blew it on dro bring it on home with the bowls to the dome fix me up with a six bottle roulette only gonna have one and then the rest none of that for the wicked, sad, down or twisted the distant inaction of fishing for futures the facts are not proven the issue is imminent habitual sentiment the smell of cinnamon, sets me off thats partly from my past, all the memories rehash winter months, I was dumb, having fun getting drunk with a girl, was my world we don’t speak, I concede defeat we’re both hard to please, thats kinda neat all that time I thought I was dope on my mind it was always a rope Im a shame to the population vindicated, if its any indication you can call collect be my reason I project all my feelings of regret, that I didn’t get to bet who’d finish off the set, 40 love rush the net spike that shit and our relationship down the drain because Im vain living proof of a goof, being trained in disdain are you sane is there a brain is there room in that dome or did you fill it all with smoke Im just hoping for a hoe thats horny for the horde alliance suck a dick, play a dwarf man Im bored must I flex on my ex, all this sex that I don’t have the money isn’t there, mary janes the only one that stays to play I’m up to trade, you don’t feel the same kerosene on deck, and the matches for action, wanna see the reaction wanna see what’d happen if i light myself up leave no trace, not one to see my face

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released April 20, 2020

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brock von Houston, Texas

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